Girls love to play with dolls and boys with guns!!! Is this true? I fail to understand, from where this theory originated. The post on Friendly Friday Weekly Challenge – The Colour Pink inspired me to share this personal experience.
I remember the days when I used to shop toys for my daughter – dolls as a requirement was never on my mind! Right from the time my baby was a toddler, we would search for safe toys with an educative aspect to it.
To begin with the aim was to introduce colours, shapes, sounds etc. Buying toys can be very challenging… As she grew up, we would always worry about giving her something new and different which is interesting and can keep her occupied in a constructive way. Dolls were the last thing on our minds…
My hubby, a hardcore techie, always gifted his daughter with mechano sets, various versions of building blocks and DIY kits for building tanks, aircraft, guns, and cars! Not to forget the memory board games, chess, scrabble and the Rubik’s cube!
All this invariably kept her busy, challenging her brain every day, even when at play. She had a jumping dog which would somersault and bark, this was one toy for sure which really amused her. Inborn love for dogs I guess…
As a child, my daughter never took any interest towards dolls. She did have a few of them. She used to find them a very dumb thing to play with. Teddy bears were fine, as she used to enjoy playing the role play games with them. She loved to be the teacher and the teddies of various shapes and size would be her students! Basically, she enjoyed bossing around with them imitating her teacher! Even today at twenty, she still has a fascination for these teddies!
Later around the time, Barbie first hit the markets, she started getting many versions of Barbie, generally all gifts from her aunt in the US. She used to adore these Barbie dolls, after all so pretty that they were! She used to collect these and decorate her room with them. They turned out to be her priced collectibles, which she displayed with pride to her friends, but seldom played with.
Now, when my son started to toddle around, he wanted to try his hand at everything. My daughter used to share all her toys with him and enjoy the mothering sessions. She used to share everything, from blocks to books but as a rule never allowed him to touch her Barbie dolls!! Her explanation was that he might pull the doll’s silky hair apart or rip the doll’s pretty party dress!! I was convinced with her justification and never forced her to share her dolls.
Whenever my son was in the mood to play with his sister’s dolls, we used to divert his attention to something else. But later this ceased to work, and he used to end up crying his heart out for the dolls!! As a helpless mother, at that time I failed to understand my son’s craze for dolls. But I couldn’t see my son cry for too long over the same issue. That evening I discussed with my hubby, about our son’s weird interest in playing with the dolls – this bought a naughty smile on my hubby’s face… And the decision was made.
We decided to gift our son his very own doll! And the following weekend, my son’s first Barbie was home. I can’t forget the smile on his face! Then he looked at his sister, trying to show off his own Barbie. She was happy that her own Barbies were safe and didn’t really care what happened to this doll of his. So she willingly demonstrated how to comb the doll’s hair, change her hair clips, shoes etc. This craze soon faded off. He soon realized there was nothing much to do with them as they only needed to be admired and pampered – not his cup of tea for sure!
So there is nothing like an exclusively for girls or boys stuff. If your child wants something, and if it is appropriate and safe for his/her age, do give it to them. Let them decide for themselves based on their learning experiences.
Toys also help you to bond with your little ones in a creative way. So do spend time playing with your children whatever be their age. It’s generally during such play sessions, that children end up sharing their fears and triumphs…
Heart to Heart 
Stereotyping is no good. A balanced approach I feel should be done. I don’t have kids so probably can’t comment what I would have done but still I feel I would have decided toys based on interests of the child and not their gender. So, that barbie for your son was a lovely thing to do. 🙂
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I’m glad you are with me! Thank you so much for sharing your views 😊
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Wonderful story. I completely agree! We also raised our son similarly. He didn’t have a lot of interest in dolls though occasionally played with them. He was always more interested in creative toys like Lego. And ultimately his favourite things were found in nature, rocks, sticks, the outdoors and the things he’d find there. To this day this is his nature.
So definitely – supporting our children’s interests is almost always the best thing. We did draw a mental line with guns, though. Though our son never had an interest in them, we also would never have allowed them. Guns glorify violence. On the other hand, whether boy or girl, a doll, especially a baby doll generally encourages nurturing and kindness – something everyone needs to have in their adult lives.
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I remember playing with rocks, sticks, seeds n sand! It’s fun with nature… I never wanted to stop them from anything, not even toy guns if something on display caught their fancy… of course as they grow we should keep guiding them! I love your perspective about encouraging kids to play with dolls… thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 😊
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i have been very supportive of my children’s choice of toys as long as they are appropriate and good, guiding and nurturing them always. lovely post! 🙂
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That’s the way to go… Glad you liked it 😃 thank you 😊
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What a great read. Thanks so much for sharing and you raise some very interesting points about gender stereotyping. With my own children, dolls weren’t much on the agenda. The boys thought they were uninteresting as they didn’t do anything and like your daughter, my daughter was more interested in bears. I tried not to stereotype and one day I noticed something interesting. It was my practice to make little cardboard ramps with my sons that they were roll their toy cars up and down in our large kitchen whilst I was preparing meals. They loved this and they made all sorts of twisting ramps this way and that and loved the activity. Many years later when my daughter was born, I recreated that scene for her amusement. When I rolled the car down the makeshift ramp and made a whooping son when it rolled off the end, she merely grunted and turned away to something else. The cars held absolutely no interest for her. So much for conditioning by parents – this was instinctual.
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So glad you liked it! I loved reading your parenting experience and thanks for sharing the details… each child is different – even the siblings are so different in their likes, dislikes n needs… strictly no stereotyping of any kind works! Thank you once again 🤗
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You are so right. Every child is an individual and so different in personality and likes/dislikes from the next. Sometimes it is hard to believe they came from the same parental gene group! My eldest son was poles apart from the second one. They are now all adults – how many children do you have?
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So true about siblings from same parents! My daughter, the eldest was a very cheerful baby! Could take everything in the spirit – even if you playfully spank her, she would smile and go! But my son was such a sensitive child – even if I would just take his name to check him on something, his mouth would become an inverted U and tears will start rolling as if someone actually punished him! Only after seeing him I could relate why artists use an inverted U for a crying face ☹️ I had to incorporate so many changes in my parenting style for my second sensitive child 😃 Now when we look back it’s so much fun… thank you 😊
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That is so true about the sensitive ones. You have to be careful how to phrase things. Parents try to treat children equally but they can’t treat them all the same.
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True, a real challenge! You never know what awaits you… a experience it to believe it types! Feels great exchanging thoughts with you, thank you 😊
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👌
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